How do you say awkward in Spanish?

Delicado, embarazoso. Neither one quite fits the bill. The first could be a situation that might result in various reactions, such as grief, shock, or regret. The second implies that the situation is already embarrassing. Our good old English word is the most precise, implying a situation that has the potential, but not inevitability, of being embarrassing.

Before I begin, let me define a few relationship terms that will come into play with today's scenario. Let's set up three categories:

• Past Fling: we had some romps in the past but now we're just friends
• Current Something: we're currently romping but I don't know yet where it will go
• Future Something: we're probably going to romp in the near future and see where it goes

Earlier today (Sunday), Past Fling #1 phones and asks if perhaps we could get together in the evening to hang out, have a coffee, or something similar. I say sure, give me a call later today. Past Fling #1 (from 2005) would still like to be a Current Something, but I've been pretty clear that I don't I want to go there again.

In midafternoon, Current Something #1 comes to my apartment, as previously planned, and we go out to do a few errands, then come back and prepare an early dinner or late lunch, depending on how you look at it. We're enjoying a nice repast al fresco, on my patio in full view of the front window, when the bell rings and I see Past Fling #1 standing outside, sans phone call. Little choice but to invite him in, no?

Well, it's a tad uncomfortable. I'm sure both the lads have their mental hamster-wheels spinning rapidly with questions about each other and neither seems very relaxed in our spontaneous little fiesta. Past Fling #1 is using far too much English, which Current Something #1 barely speaks, as a territorial maneuver to show how much we have in common. Current Something #1 is tossing me furtive looks to let me know he feels shy and out of place. I'm gambling on riding it out and letting the chips fall where they may when my cell phone rings. It's Future Something #1. So now with a rapt audience of two, I'm trying to navigate the perilous shoals of a conversation with yet another beau. Future Something #1 inquires as to my current activity and says he really wants to see me this evening. I try to be tactful and say I'm dining with a couple of friends and he asks if he can join us. What can I say? It's all just too much to try to get a grip on and figure out a tactical plan on the spur of the moment, so I say, sure!

Interestingly enough, it all goes more or less well. Everyone leaves in order of arrival over the course of the next few hours, eventually leaving only Future Something #1 here. I'd already yielded to fate and assumed catastrophe was imminent so I rode out the evening surprisingly calmly. I told no lies but volunteered no information and everyone seemed too polite to inquire deeply, so fate was kind to me tonight.

Fortunately, Current Something #2, who had spent the night and left this morning, didn't show up to look for a mislaid watch or some such thing. It could have a been a lot worse.